EkiraboKyampaire

So, as I look forward to marriage and babies, I have been reading, listening to talk shows and so on as the topic on parenting and how children need time from their parents more than anything is discussed. Consider the story below: SON: "Daddy, may I ask you a question?" DAD: "Yeah sure, what is it?" SON: "Daddy, how much do you make an hour?" DAD: "That's none of your business. Why do you ask such a thing?" SON: "I just want to know. Please tell me, how much do you make an hour?" DAD: "If you must know, I make $100 an hour." SON: "Oh! (With his head down). SON: "Daddy, may I please borrow $50?" The father was furious. DAD: "If the only reason you asked that is so you can borrow some money to buy a silly toy or some other nonsense, then you march yourself straight to your room and go to bed. Think about why you are being so selfish. I work hard everyday for such this childish behav...

I have been silent. Not just here but in other areas of my life too. I have found, there is wisdom in that proverb, 'silence is golden'. There is much you can learn if you listen more than you speak/ write. Work has been helter skelter. Deadline upon deadline. Proposal after proposal- until on some days I have been just about ready to quit. But, bread and its companion butter have to be put on the table, so I soldier on. I have always been passionate about the condition of the African and grieved that we seem to be stuck in a vicious cycle whose end is not in sight. I have had dreams of more for the African. I have read books, listened to sermons and TED talks on the matter till am gorged. Then, I listened to Mr. Andrew Wutawunashe, a bonafide prophet of God and all I can say is you need to read his book on the matter. Africanness has for ages been under attack and really, it is about time we woke up to the necessity of standing up and being counted because we have a ro...

I used to think I had my stuff together. Then I got married. Marriage is great—but it rocked everything I knew. I quickly realized my basic goal in life, prior to getting married, was to simply remain undisturbed. This “disruption” came suddenly and was disguised as a 5-foot-nothing Swedish-Filipino woman. When I decided I’d rather not live without her, I proceeded to ask her to marry me—that is, to officially invite someone who wasn’t me to be in my personal space for the rest of my life. This decision introduced my most significant experiences and most challenging experiences—none of which I would trade for the world. However, I wish I’d had a bit more insight on the front end of our marriage to help me navigate it all. According to most research, more than 50 percent of people who say “I do” will not be sleeping in the same bed eight years from now. And though Scripture alludes to the fact that adultery and abuse may be reasons individuals might end a marriage, ...

I wrote  here almost a year ago about what women want from their male partner. That post generated some really interesting debates online and offline. Today, I was sent the following rules by the Bosom Buddy. I find that I agree with all of them. Some of them are harsh and literally bitter pills to swallow; but I agree with them and my posting them here is so, perhaps, the women folk who read them can gain knowledge, for knowledge is power and the heart of the discerning acquires knowledge; the ears of the wise seek it out , Proverbs 18:15 says :)... We always hear ‘the rules’ from the female side Now here are the rules from the male side.  Please note. These are all numbered #1 on purpose! 1.        Men are not mind readers. 1.        Learn to work the toilet seat. You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don’t hear us complaining about you leaving it...

Apparently, I am a 'left-over woman' at least, so says this article :) In fact, I am two years into this status and that's not 'good news'. This morning two colleagues at work started the day off with a conversation about, 'what is the definition of a woman in African society?' The guy kept highlighting how in African traditional societies, a girl only became a woman when she was married off and had a child. The babe was livid. 'How can you be oblivious to how disrespectful, unkind and unfair that kind of thinking is?!' she retorted. 'What if the woman was simply unable to bear children? or was infertile?- does this mean she is not a woman?!' He was adamant. 'Those cases were few and far between and their rarity only went to show that such women were simply unlucky!' The babe almost had a heart attack! Thankfully, in walked the country manager and the uncomfortable conversation had to be halted. This exchange, coupled with the...

I write to you friends from the lovely but cold Naivasha in Kenya. The home of flamingoes and hippos and all manner of wildlife that wander around freely. I must emphasize just how cold it is here, though,...the hotels provide hot water bottles and the heaviest blankets I have ever seen! :) Now, the issue on my mind is this ban on use of Skype and all other VOIP services in Ethiopia. African governments/ heads of state (because in many African countries, these men are the law) amaze me. So, just because you want to stay in power till death parts you and the presidency, all must be muzzled?...Do you really believe you can shut people up completely? You probably have not encountered the real human spirit...that part of being a homo sapiens that guarantees that when pushed to the wall, we fight back...we die trying... I wish President Girma Wolde-GL [who is nowhere as cool as our own GNL Zamba :)] all the best as he embarks of on one hell of a task! Read more  h...

 Loosely translated; no sexual intercourse allowed here ! Firstly, let us acknowledge how hilarious this sign post is :)...only in Uganda!! I have to wonder, though, is the 'activity' banned on the tree branches or under the tree??!! It's all so puzzling! Anyway, best not to digress :)... What seems to be the general consesus on this to tell or not to tell issue is that we should all mind our own business and keep our mouths shut. In fact, there is this particular friend of mine who has always been clear to us (all her friends) that under no circumstances should we tell her if we knew her man was 'indulging in side dishes'. I think this position is an odd one. I would want to be told. I would tell my friend if I knew her man/ his girl was cheating on him or her. I would be very angry with a friend who chose to 'not get in between lovers' quarrels'. I would rather err on the side of more information- in any situation. Perhaps i...

I refer, not to the well-loved Charles Dickens book but to the prospects, the eager anticipation that comes with committing to a person in a romantic relationship. I remember how incensing it was whenever  John Doe told me he had no expectations of me and I, therefore, should not have any of him. 'Why can't you just go with the flow, Lynn!' he would cry. 'Why must you complicate things?!'...and consequently, I would walk away from such conversations feeling like the wicked witch of the west- the one who always screws things up. Contractual terms can be considered expectations, right? Par example; I hand over x million shillings, you hand over your car's keys... You pay y amount of shillings as rent, I let you live in my house, You pay me US $ z , I write a proposal for your organization...et cetera, et cetera... So, how, then, is it that when it comes to romantic relationships, people want to avoid the conversation about expectations like the pla...

Guys, you're in luck- I am taking it upon myself to unleash female trade secrets at no fee, lawyer, though I may be. Consider this pro bono . Gals, hopefully, you'll now have a piece of writing to refer your men to (coz I intend to be candid and thorough). A friend, who only recently, discovered this blog said he thinks I am 'too open for life' on here. Well, that's vintage Lynn- open and honest- all out. After giving my introvertedness centre stage for many years with unfavourable results, I find that it is better to say too much than never to what you need to- or in this case, write. Okay, so, about the what do women want question. I will write what I want and what I have heard girlfriends say they want. None of that, look deeply into her eyes whenever you talk - jibber jabber, I promise. This is practical, realistic stuff which a man committed to making some woman out there truly happy will find useful. Love her. Remember that love is a verb (a doing...